Top 5 Mistakes New Comics Make

When you begin performing standup the three base tenants of how to improve will always be writing, watching and performing. Under these three elements come all the most important aspects of developing your craft but as is often overlooked, also crucial aspects of your professionalism and courtesy that often go un-adhered to by newer acts to their own detriment.

So here’s a list of top 5 no no’s for new comics..

(Rest assured I have done almost all of these things and am speaking from complete experience as to the things I wish I had the foresight to not do.)

1. Stealing Material

It’s going to be incredibly tempting to use other peoples material when you begin because standup as a form seems completely unfamiliar and daunting when starting out. I remember before I began I had such little idea of how to write material I thought I would rather just to go on stage and pre-empt every bit with “remember on that episode of Seinfeld” and then perform Jerry’s opening monologues from the show verbatim. As I learned how to write that all subsided and the level of excitement I had from writing new material completely outweighed anything that might be gained from lifting from others. However that doesn’t mean you won’t see it time and time again in other performers.

There is a super fine line between ideas that happen to have been thought of by two different comics that happen to be similar and lifting jokes word for word. Whether you’ve had similar experiences or happen to have seen a bit before and forgotten about it, it’s very common for similar concepts to be created. In this instance usually whoever performed it first has dibs however if you’re coming up with material that is created by others is it really as original as it could be? Sometimes you’ll have a bit that you’ve done for awhile only to find that a far more experienced and view-able comic is doing something similar. In these instances you can continue to do your material but keep in mind people will think the more seen individual is the one to have created it. If this happens try to take solace in the fact that it means your writing is becoming on par with how more experienced acts are thinking which is usually a good sign. However often times if a joke is word for word the same, you can bet it’s been taken. I can’t think of a single working comedian I’ve met who will let others take their material but there are many who will use others. Some openly talk about it and I can recall a conversation between an older act and another working comic talking about how tricky it was to come up with a whole new hour in a year. The older comic then lamented, as though in agreement, that it was getting harder and harder to find jokes online they could use for their show. Needless to say that comic isn’t working anymore.

Psych!

They sell out RSL’s and bowls clubs around the country.

Remember kids, if a generation of people who grew up in a time when asbestos was a sandwich-able meat think you’re funny, you’re probably missing the mark.

And if you want to know who it is… you can find out by subscribing to my patreon you fucking snitch.

Thankfully stolen material almost always bombs for the acts that take it. They fail to realize that much of the absolute best comedians material isn’t just funny because of the jokes but also the delivery and their on stage presence that their humour is filtered through. Which you can bet new performers are completely oblivious to. So a good rule of thumb is to give an act a heads up if they have similar material to another performer or professional act so they can have a chance to look for themselves and change accordingly. Or if they’re a dick then let them bomb with it. If they actually manage to pull it off you’ll usually find audiences are savvy enough and will call out the name of the act they’re ripping off if they're big enough but if all else fails and people are taking material you or others have done with no repercussions then at least make sure other comics are aware of it. I’ve seen a few ways this has been done but the most effective was to post the material they’re ripping off onto their facebook for all to see. I have never seen comics stop doing material quicker than with a good ol’ fashion social media pie in the face.  I know it’s not a perfect solution but copyright is non-existent within standup and you’ll be lucky to get paid for writing material for others at the best of times. Just trust that if you wrote good material once you can do it again and make sure not to perform when that person is watching and eventually sooner or later they’ll be totally Mencia’d.

‍

2. Deliberately offensive material

I can think of few things but physical confrontations or verbal abuse that will get a comic banned from a venue quicker than dropping the N-word or a joke about sexual violence purely because they’re trying to be edgy. It’s something that people need to be taken to task over constantly and whilst some of the best comics in the world may cover such content in their material, they do so incredibly carefully with immense precision over months of work-shopping and even then it’s huge risk and can go awry. Open micer’s will never have that level of insight, depth and skill and by bringing these things to stage you are taking a hammer to your own credibility and the respect of other comics and audiences alike.

So to the new acts thinking they want to be the next Jim Jeffries, give a good hard think about whether or not the $5 open mic needs your hot take on race or violence. If you’re writing material that is solely reliant on those aspects as the punchline then you have not written a joke, you have written an insult and a heinous one at that, so don’t be surprised by the consequences. And for the record Jim Jeffries was stealing jokes decades before I started comedy..

So to summarize, your heroes are a lie and Jeffries bleeds like the rest of us. Now either write different jokes or give other comics your stage time because they’ll do more with it and will make audiences not regret the choice to risk supporting the live arts which pays all of our bills.

There are so many reasons not to try this that it would be doing a disservice to try to cover it here and now so I’m just staying put on a blanket, don’t try it.

Don’t make us listen, don’t make us go on after you and have to cleanup. Don’t make us have to apologize to audiences because of you. Don’t hold the audience hostage to meandering, incoherent abuse that only serves to belittle those who are already marginalized through abuse you are more than likely, completely tone deaf to.

Do not try to emulate comics who are known for being rude, they don’t even want to be themselves, so why would you?

An Aside:

There are a huge number of ways that comedy scenes around the world can be improved and stand up as an art still has a long way to go. I’ve seen similar issues in the scenes I’ve performed in around the world but to my home state’s credit, the speed and response to newer acts performing material that is intentionally offensive has been getting better with due diligence from a lot of on the ball, intelligent and dedicated comedians, bookers and venue runners.

I feel this is a direct result of better discussion around the issues affecting women and minorities and an increase in the amount of these groups starting comedy and most importantly, staying in comedy. But for the difference to start really being noticed and felt it needs to continue increase.  People may say it’s political correctness gone mad but in reality it’s just jokes written better so that they’re funnier for more people. However there is still a longggggg way to go and with the constant influx of new acts into scenes it means it’s a lesson that won’t stop being taught anytime soon. A lot of trial and error is underway to curb this which is great and the best response is from a unified front to draw a line on what is and isn’t acceptable. There are a lot of ways to change this behavior including:

-          supporting and sharing content from comics who are respected for their positive ideas

-         constructive criticism on performers

-         coaching and workshops with experienced acts

-         bookers or venue managers setting out a clear list of what is expected of the comic before the show (both in their performance and content) so that they have been made aware and warned ahead of time of the repercussions.

After all that, if you still go on stage with that content then…

3. Manners

There is not enough space in this article to cover everything to do with manners in comedy in this article and I admit I am in no way the person to be telling anyone how to behave backstage. However here are two of the biggest mistakes that I’ve made when starting out that I wish I had of known better than to do.

If you want to eventually get paid as a comic then you need to treat it with at least some semblance of professionalism as you would a 9-5. This means coming early to sets you’re on and being sure to let the booker or venue runner know as soon as possible if you can’t make it or are late. There is nothing wrong with unforeseeable circumstances and I struggle to think of a booker who isn’t understanding when they are informed ahead of time that you’ll be late.However if you come late to shows with no heads up you are disrespecting their time, the audiences and other performers and you will not be asked back. It’s one of the easiest ways to cost you future income and takes two seconds to remedy so make the call, send the text and don’t be stupid with scheduling your bookings. Two paying gigs back to back on opposite ends of the city will cost you more in the long run if you’re forced to rush between them and in doing, be a pain for the bookers who are less likely to put you on again.

On the other side of the set is going over time. No matter who the comic is (myself included) this happens pretty frequently. “Sticky Feet” happens at just about every good gig in comedy with the common idea being that if you’re doing well then the audience wants more of you right?

But in reality this is just an excuse to justify you disrespecting the room and the other comics and using up the audience’s attention and energy for yourself. Stick to time and get off when the lights flash or you get a signal from off stage. If you’re unsure how long you’ve done then you can ask the person running tech or the venue manager but this isn’t ideal as it makes you look unprofessional on stage. Your own ignorance is no excuse for going over so keep a timer going for how long you’ve been on with your phone, know the length of your material, keep an eye on a watch or clock and arrange the venue to give you a flash when you’re close to finishing.

Now if staying on stage when you’re going well is bad, then going overtime when you are bombing is the absolute pits.

This happens constantly at open mic’s and if the room is run well then you’d be lucky to get a few polite light flashes until you feel like getting off. If the mic is cut or the music comes to play you off then you need to leave immediately and definitely need to apologize to whoever is running the room.

A lot of people will think that if they aren’t doing well they should somehow “save” the set by doing one last joke that they are so sure will work. But cleanups aren’t your job at an open mic, It’s the MC’s. If you aren’t doing well then a “thanks for your time” is fine. Comedy won’t always be killer sets and you’ll need to learn how to swallow your pride if you want to make it because there’ll be a long road of shitty gigs before good rooms become the norm. Think of it this way, if you were doing well then even if you have to leave midway through a joke to keep to time then you’ll leave on a good note.If you’re not doing well, then it doesn’t matter that you didn’t get through your last joke because you were already doing poorly. Brush yourself off, write some new jokes and try again.

4. Making fun of the venue

Oh man did I screw up in the times when I’ve done this.

Just because you’re performing at a stage doesn’t mean that the venue is in some way indebted to you. Before you enter a gig be mindful of appreciation for the opportunity to perform in the art you like and direct that to the venue and audience. They don’t exist to provide you a stage, they exist to provide the audience an experience and you are one of many performers who are replaceable. Your exchange might be with the audience, but it is completely facilitated by the venue, no matter how good or bad. There’s no reason to shit on a venue, no matter how bad, because even if you don’t like it then it was on you for agreeing. If it’s really a turd, then don’t perform there in future and let others know. If it’s a bad room the comedy there won’t survive and eventually either the management will cancel the night or the people running it will give it up out of frustration.

However there are many times where people do put a lot of effort into a room and for any number of reasons it doesn’t pan out well. I’ve seen many people start out with poorly run rooms but with a positive and open minded attitude they’ve managed to turn them around into great places to play at. If you turn on people when they’re on the ground floor then you’re shooting in yourself in the foot for a venue that could be a great experience and more importantly, paid work because you chose to be critical over supportive.

That’s not to say you shouldn’t raise valid arguments if the situation should arise where the comedian, other acts or audience are put at risk and exposed to intentionally harmful content or practices. However I can think of barely any instances where they needed to be brought up on stage.

5. Heckling

This is all too common even amongst experienced comics and room bookers.  So I’ll just say you should know better as a performer than to derail someone’s set by interrupting.

I’ve heckled an act when I was starting out and immediately felt likethe biggest piece of shit after and I have no idea how people who perform can engage in this kind of thing on a pretty regular basis without remorse. I don’t care that you were drinking, that you were having fun, that it’s your room or that you’re friends with the comic. If you really can’t help yourself then leave and write some new jokes so that you get the attention and laughter your craving from your allocated stage time like the rest of us and not from hijacking someone else’s.

Unless the person on stage is being deliberately terrible.

That time when the drunk guy heckling all night got given the microphone and tried to tell a racist joke and we all booed him off stage is something I still think about fondly.

‍

*If you enjoyed this article please consider donating to Colin's Patreon at www.patreon.com/colinebsworthcomedy for new articles, content and more!

‍