Comedy Economics: Starting A New Room
“I just want more stage time”
-any beginner comic ever.
This is a lethal statement.
I mean bad, really bad.. like… on par with “just get Michael Bay to do it” or “we'll invade Russia in the Winter”.
New comics will always want more stage time. All comics do, it’s just that new comics, unlike pro’s, don’t know what’s good for them yet.
They’ll say..
“but there are so few rooms and so many comics that want more stage time, it’s just supply and demand”.
It's just supply and demand..
It's just supply and demand..
It's just supply and demand..
The Reality
Regardless of my own personal desire to be on stage every day for as long as possible, the model being presented is just plain wrong.
So here is the first part in a series on...
The Economics Of Comedy.
The model of supply of comedians and a demand for stage time is not how the model of supply and demand works in a capitalist economy.
The reason it gets muddled is because we look at it from the wrong perspective, we see comedians wanting stage time as a demand, and the presence of that stage time the supply. But that model only works if comedians are paying for that stage time so that demand is met with supply, a value is identified and a price paid to benefit both parties. In this instance the business transaction isn't an audience paying to see comedy like it's meant to be, it's comedians paying to be on a stage which might sound fine to people without the experience of making a living off standup but transpose it to any other art form and it's a fucking scam on par with comedy classes.
I understand the irony in me teaching comedy classes and ragging on them at the same time. The sole difference, I'm still writing and performing and haven't given up yet and I don't mean at just performing.
Bottom line is
Never do a room that charges you money to perform whether in drinks or cash. Respect yourself, your colleagues, industry and art.
If your jokes are so bad you have to pay for others to listen, then spare the two drink minimum, food and travel money and pay a friend to listen. For real, you will have a better time buying a friend a meal and running over jokes then going to a bad venue.
The truth?
The audience holds the demand.
They buy the tickets, they come see the shows, they are the people that you as a comic perform to.
Not to other comics, not to empty rooms that you paid to do, not to promoters but real people dragged to a show out of sheer force of will, guilt or getting past the cluster fuck of microsoft paint comedy posters
When you say you want a new room solely for stage time you are being greedy and not even a good type of greed. Not even a Gordon Gecko in “Money” type of greed that results in unimaginable success and wealth at the expense of peoples pensions. No instead this is plain stupid greed. It’s the type of greed that sees you wanting more of the Cool Aid than everyone else at a cult transcendence ceremony.
We get fooled into thinking more stage time is better as it makes us better comics but there is a diminishing return with performing at shitty venues and what's worse you will begin to hate the thing you love. It's like spending too long your child.
Sure more stage time is fine, but that can only ever be part of your reasoning to start a room.
The other parts being
- To Support your scene
- To provide good comedy to audiences
- As practical experience in venue management, organization and small business ownership
- And most importantly MAKE SOME GODDAMN MONEY
The final one is the most important.
Why?
Because despite what my inner left-wing-commie-long-hair thinks, money is a great motivator.
Probably the best there is bar cocaine and your child falling into a lion enclosure.
When you are motivated by profit, you stand a far better chance at running a good room because you are invested in that room. You are invested in making it better, so that more people come to see shows, you can pay for better comics and you can experience a better and more prosperous scene. All of this will make you better so focus on running a good room.
A good room being a room where..
- The audience laughs and has a good time first and foremost so they can say with full confidence they witnessed STANDUP COMEDY
- The venue turns a profit to allow for future shows of the above mentioned quality
- Comic talent can be crafted and honed because the venue has the capital to invest in shows that are of the above mentioned quality
- Comedians have a good time because they are performing at shows of the above mentioned quality
I include the last point because it does actually hold merit. A room where comedians can have fun (not at the expense of the room but rather in a healthy social and supportive way) results in better performances and better word of mouth.
I don’t invite my friends to shows that I don’t think I’ll kill at
and apart from open micer’s doing their first couple of gigs, other comics won’t either.
However If you provide a room that doesn’t incorporate these elements you will, without a doubt, end up hurting the scene, your standing in it, your comedy and your wallet.
Why does hurting the scene matter to you when you just want stage time?
Because stage time is part of the scene you jag. It's probably the biggest part because without stage time from rooms there is no comedy. There's just you slipping your jokes into everyday conversation and waiting for the breadcrumbs of comments like "you should do standup" to sustain you.
And here are some ideas to back it up.
Most regular patrons attend comedy once every 6 months to a year. AT THE MOST.
And what's more, those "regular patrons" are in the minority of society. A society that in most developed areas is filled with sports, music, festivals, restaurants and other good times running at all the same times as your shows for you to compete with.
You’re run of the mill comedy fan boys that are at every gig aren’t regular audience members. Comedians aren’t regular audience members either, they are barely regular people and like I said they run out of willing friends pretty quick so you can't rely on any of them to pull a crowd.
Not everyone shares our passion for comedy. Especially when it’s being run out of a backroom of a Korean karaoke venue with no lighting, awful sound, no promotion and the headline act being sodomy jokes. I don't mean a headline act who makes those jokes. I mean that is the headline act.
Only 3% of the population goes to comedy and that can fall anywhere from going once in their life to regular once every year patrons.
When you run a bad comedy night that 3% doesn’t just avoid your room, they avoid all rooms.
Because YOU said it was comedy.
Your MC who has been doing it for 3 months said “THIS IS COMEDY”.
Your hand drawn the night before in permanent marker
posters said “COMEDY NIGT" and that is not a typo on my end.
People will think your room is what comedy, and what's worse that comedy is terrible and they will not go again.
So your room run for stage time is hurting mine and everyone else’s chances of good numbers at their solo shows, fun crowds at their support, MC and headline spots and the chance to learn how to do good comedy. Now this mainly applies to open mics, it takes hundreds if not thousands of dollars and an equal amount of time to invest in a pro room to make it work so if the open mic doesn’t work don’t even think of starting a pro room.
Plus what I've noticed time and time again is that running a room takes away so much energy from actually doing standup that the people who start rooms just for stage time don't even get up at them half the time. They're so burnt out organizing and setting up that they don't write jokes, or learn them before they're set or are just in such a bad head space because they're essentially coming from one job to another that they can't focus so their whole endeavor is VOID.
And to the comics who say they'll do any room.
I was like you..
and when I spoke with older more experienced comics I thought there was a right answer and a wrong answer and they were wrong for not performing at open mics as often as I did and they just didn't 'get it'. In reality, it's a spectrum of experience that you transition across as you develop and get better, you start wanting as much stage time as possible. Then you get better and realize that bad stage time doesn't pay the bills. Then you get to the point where you don't need it and are tired of hearing the same jokes and meeting the same people reincarnated as open micers and finally you only really attend pro rooms because the quality of comedy is better, you can stand to learn something, you can get genuine stage time and YOU GET PAID.
So hot tip, if you are still in the "I'll do any gig" mindset after longer than a couple of years it's not a reflection on you being some comedy bastion or Hicksian renegade.
You are not good.
If you've been doing it for years and are still doing open mics without paid spots or featured gigs at good rooms it's not the crowds, it's you.
In all likelihood you just don't have it but don't want to admit you can't do it. Don't want to feel like you aren't part of the scene and don't want to let go of any power amassed from running a room and the onslaught of attention it draws.
At the end of the day run a room to help the scene and your wallet foremost and to help your comedian friends and ego last.
“But a gig’s a gig”
So go do it outside in the street to passing strangers and see where it gets you.
And if you don't think I'm talking to you, then I especially am. Your room's terrible and if it wasn't for the stage time you offered, comics wouldn't laugh at your jokes.
