The Absolute Basics: Doing You're First Set

So you want to be laughed at for less than minimum wage in one of the the hardest arts scenes to break into?

Well this is your lucky day!

Here is the most
absolutely basic set of guidelines I can give for how to perform your first
set. We’ll go into literally everything in a lot more depth in the following weeks but for your
first 5 minutes, this is it baby!

*this article is assuming
you’re going to a sign up comedy night or have booked a spot in advance.

Straight off the bat the absolute best thing I
can tell you to do for your first gig is write way more material than you need for your first
spot. You’re comedic sensibilities starting out will be totally new so there’s
no point trying to workshop or “tighten” up a new 5 minutes because you won’t
know where to go. It’s better to just write as much as you can and pick the
best 5 minutes out of that. All the best had to learn the basics so consider just
taking the your favourite single jokes out of whole bits or ideas and seeing
how they work. If the best joke doesn’t work chances are the rest of the bit
wont so you’ll get more from spreading your time around multiple ideas than
risking one tanking for the whole spot.

Now the play by play..

-Get to the show early and
introduce yourself to whoever’s running the night and the MC/host. If it’s a signup night get
there early and put your name down and don’t be afraid to do so everyone there is in the same boat as you so there’s no
need to be hesitant. Some nights in busier scenes have a sign up night that fills up so early
most comics will sign up early and then go to another gig and perform elsewhere
before coming back. I’d recommend going to multiple nights at different venues
in advance to get a feel for how the shows work in each space/night.

-Have your jokes down,
learn them forwards and backwards and have them condensed from sentences into
key words of the sentence, then into words per joke and finally a word per
grouping for a bit. If you really need to, write those words on your hand but
be warned that more often ends up a crutch over being actually helpful as you’ll
have something to fall back rather than conditioning your mind to work off
setlists. Open mic spots tend to be 5 minutes so that’s only a few notes, do
not write your whole set on your body. It’ll distract you just as much as the
audience. Trust your brain to do what it’s meant to and understand that sooner
or later you’ll blank on stage and to the handful of people in the crowd they
will never remember it.

-Go in thinking the
audience wants an opportunity to laugh and that you’re sole job is to provide
them that opportunity and try to appreciate the chance you’ve been given to do
that. Also have a look over your material and try to take yourself back
mentally to when you wrote it to remind yourself of what you found funny about
it so that if you get down on your material you can remember that at one point
you did want to share it with others

-Don’t get caught up with
the backstage banter, it’s from comics who are busy trying to make each other
laugh or don’t care enough to go over their jokes. Focus on your material and
if you’re funny you can banter later, you are not the best comic by being the
funniest backstage and you have no one to impress because if they were big names they wouldn't be backstage at an open mic.

-Watch how the comics get on stage and where you need to be when the MC calls you up

-When the MC introduces
you they’ll often try to shake your hand, if you rush the stage you’ll miss it
and look rude before you get a word out

-When you get to the mic take
the mic out of the stand and hold it with one hand, two hands makes it look
like you’re a pre-school teacher speaking to children. If you want to leave the
mic in the stand that’s fine but if you have nerves I’d recommend taking it out
so at least one shaky hand has something to hold onto. If you're going to leave it in the stand make sure you know what to do with your hands and have practiced gestures that go along with your bits. You'll look weird having them by your sides, in your pockets or flailing around so I would really recommend holding the mic.

-If you've chosen to take the mic out of the stand then move the stand from in front of you, it’s a distraction and looks like you’re
split in half to the audience

-Stand towards the front
of the stage, there’s no point creating additional distance between you and the
crowd

-If there’s a spotlight
the lights will be bright, be ready for it and don’t acknowledge how bright it
is because it’ll make you look totally amateur and definitely don’t cover your face
with your eyes. They’ll adjust and if you’re really nervous see if you can stand
on stage to see how bright they’ll be before the gig and get a feel for the
lights and microphone.

-Stand IN THE SPOTLIGHT.
When you’re having a look at acts on before you notice if there’s a full wash
(the whole stage lit up) or a spot light (only the area in the lights
boundaries lit up). Stay in the lit area and don’t go outside of it even if it
makes the light less bright.

-Hold the microphone up to
your chin and project, you’re going to want to drop it down and away from your
mouth unconsciously but don’t let that happen. If you struggle with this then literally hold the microphone to your chin and don't let it leave until you're done.

-Deliver your jokes to the
crowd, not up or down or to the sides but to the crowd. If they’re in an
awkward grouping or in a weird room then pick the most dense area of them and deliver to that.

-If there's a sting (music that plays when you enter and exit the stage) then wait for it to finish before you begin your set. Way too many comics charge straight into their material and before the music or applause has settled and the audience misses the first few words which sets a weird tone for the rest of their set.

-Greet the audience, you
can ask how they’re doing, say hello or even add a little flare but don’t
expect a response and definitely don’t comment negatively on it if they don’t
respond. Even if they need working if it’s your first time on stage you will
not have the skills to work them to a better place. This doesn't mean you have to try to rile the audience up, let the MC do that, just don't jump straight into a monologue of jokes before you've even reached the microphone.

-If you can, put your
shortest least edge and punchiest joke up top to try and get them on board
early

-Allow for a pause where
you feel punchlines are meant to be whether you get them or not this is for
your own practice in timing as much as it is joke writing.

-Do not acknowledge any
jokes that don’t get a laugh, the audience has no idea where a punchline is
meant to be and your first few gigs are exercises in getting used to being on
stage in front of an audience as much as it is to see how jokes and delivery work

-Do not put your hands in
your pockets or behind you, if you’re nervous put the shaking hand on the mic
stand, but do not play with it. Again, it’s a distraction

-Don’t cover the end of
the microphone with your hand, you’re at a comedy show not a hip hop slamboree. It’ll create a weird echo and muffle your words.

-Breathe, take your time,
you’re likely going to go over time if it’s your first couple of gigs because timing
jokes takes experience and you don’t have to fit everything in. I can’t say
this enough, a shorter gig is better than a longer gig. This is important for
your first couple of times on stage. That’s not to say you should jump off
stage the second a joke falls flat but if you’re approaching you’re 5 minute
mark of a standard open mic spot and you’re getting nothing there is nothing
wrong with saying “thank you and goodnight”. If they are enjoying it then you
can leave on a high, if they aren’t then it doesn’t matter if you leave. It’s
only your ego that wants you to suffer anymore so put it aside and get off.

-Smile when you can. It’ll
make everyone feel more at ease, yourself included.

-Let the audience know
when you’re done, a simple “that’s it from me, thankyou” is fine.

-PUT THE MICROPHONE BACK IN THE STAND AND THE STAND BACK WHERE YOU FOUND IT

-Vomit THEN cry. If you do
it the other way around you can’t see where you’re vomiting.

Feel good, you took a big
gamble and tried something that literally terrifies more people into panic
attacks than sharks.

If you want to progress with your absolute basic skills as soon as possible consider recording your sets. It’s a good habit to get into and you’ll be able
to objectively look back at what you need to work on. Try and look for any
mannerisms you have that are distracting or any ideas that weren’t clear. See
that your jokes were delivered to the audience well and not too quickly out of
nerves. Also look for filler words like “Like, um, you know” that you can cut down on in future and to become aware of
areas you need to polish or tighten up.

Write new material, rinse
and repeat.

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